It seems like the importance self-care is a hot topic these days. Tony Robbins, Arianna Huffington, and Tim Ferriss (and so many others) are talking about how getting more sleep, journaling, meditation, exercise, cold plunges, gratitude, and green juice will help you be a healthier, happier, and more productive human. 

Which is great! We all need a little less pressure to #hustle and a little more down time.  I'm so glad that self care is part of the conversation these days...But sometimes it can just feel like one more thing to add to the to-do list. 

How do you squeeze in three hours of "essential" self care rituals in a day that is already jam-packed with deadlines, emails, and appointments, not to mention your personal life?

If you're a small business owner, you're probably already wearing 27 hats, and now you need to find time to prepare a fresh smoothie after your HIIT workout, 30 minute meditation, and personal goal journaling, all before 7am?!

Oof. Tall order.

Here are a few keys to making self care happen and feel relaxing, instead of just overwhelming. 

bedtime

 

1. WALK BEFORE YOU RUN. 

When you set a goal to incorporate self care into your day, start small. We tend to get motivated and set big goals for ourselves, thinking that we can certainly make these big shifts happen overnight:

Meditate for an hour daily!

Go to bed an hour earlier!

Run 10 miles every morning!

After a week, we feel defeated when we haven't miraculously added these goals into our daily routine. 

But often the mistake is not the goal itself, but how you reach it. I see clients set lofty self care goals that are TOTALLY DOABLE in the long run, but they get discouraged quickly because in the short term they can't make the big shifts they were hoping for. 

For example, if you want to be the person who has a 30 minute meditation practice every morning, starting day 1 with 30 minutes might work...but it's a lot to ask right off the bat. 

Instead, start forming the habits around the ritual you want in baby steps. 

Just create a space where you'll meditate to start with. Then spend a week just sitting down and meditating for 5 minutes to start with. See how that feels. Can you do more? If so, bump up the time to 10 minutes. Over the course of a few weeks, the act of sitting down every morning will become a habit. Once you have the habit in place, then you can work on increasing the time. 

Or if you're trying to get more sleep by going to bed an hour earlier, you might spend the first few days by just shutting off electronics an hour earlier to begin with. Then spend a week or so just going to bed 10-15 minutes earlier than usual. Make small changes until you've eased into a new routine.

Habits take time to form. Be gentle if you want lasting effects. 

lifting

2. Don't Reinvent the Wheel. 

I grew up playing sports in high school and college, I worked for a fitness company, and have held many jobs with a physical strength requirement, so I've always considered myself to be pretty proficient at fitness training. A year ago or so, I joined a local gym with the intention of designing my own training programs. I had some basic background in programming and knew what I liked from years of working with a coach, so I figured it couldn't be that hard. 

It didn't take long before I realized I bit off more than I could chew.

I was assuming that on top of everything else I had to do during the day, I could set aside time to write out an interesting, effective, and efficient training schedule. Not only is it something I don't do often, someone else has already done it...and they've done it better. I didn't need to take on the task of becoming a fitness expert myself. 

My old boss used to constantly say "don't reinvent the wheel." The point was always to highlight that there is a time to be innovative, and to use your creativity to get something done...and there is a time to just use the tools and resources already available to you. 

So now I use a variety of free videos online, or pay for programming (usually super reasonable) from my favorite fitness gurus. I get my time back and I get better results. 

When you're trying to add a little self care into your day, figure out how you can use tools, apps, experts, etc. to help you reach your goals. 

You're not "using a crutch," as one of my clients said, if you use a meditation app to help you get your zen on. You're using the tools that exist to help you.

That's resourceful, not lazy.  

 

Quick resources/tools for self-care (free-$25): 

surf

3. Give Yourself Permission.

Oftentimes self care gets pushed to the back burner when we get busy. It's wild how we'll go to great lengths to deliver for someone else--staying up late and working weekends--but when it comes to delivering something of value for ourselves (better health, more sleep, etc.), it's easy to cut corners.

Why do we put ourselves last? 

Generally speaking, it's because we don't want to disappoint others. So our own priorities come after we've delivered the project, called the client, responded to the messages, picked up the kids, washed the dishes, etc. We imagine that "just as soon as I get a few things done, then I'll be able to relax and take a hot bath."

But here's the thing: the list of to-dos will grow forever. 

As soon as you get to the bottom of it, it fills right back up with things to do! It's a never ending cycle.

Which is why it's crucial to start carving out time for you NOW. Give yourself permission to make your needs a priority.

Ask yourself:

  • How would that feel? How would it be different than how you feel/operate right now? 

  • Would you be able to be a better parent/boss/friend/spouse/employee if you could show up as your best self? 

  • What would be possible if you were consistently operating with more energy, gratitude, peace, and clarity?

  • How can you carve out a little bit of time now to start forming those self care habits? 

Here's to firing on all cylinders by taking care of you. Let me know your favorite ways to build self-care into a busy schedule.

 

 

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