If there’s one thing I’m hearing from my clients right now it’s “how do I make progress when things are constantly changing?”
We’re dealing with a lot right now. From fires and hurricanes, to cultural tensions over politics, to the uncertainty of the pandemic, to homeschooling kids, to working from home, to worries about health, the list of stressors just seems to keep growing.
It seems like as soon as you have a plan, the situation changes and you have to figure it all out again from scratch. Ugh.
So, what do you do when you find yourself in chaos land?
First, feel those feelings.
It’s funny that often our first reaction to hard things is to try to distract or suppress the feelings we’re having. Who’s got time for that right now?! But when you take a minute to notice and name the feelings that are coming up, it can make a big difference.
I’m feeling so sad about not being able to go to that conference.
I’m feeling irritated that my kids are on Zoom all day.
I’m feeling worried about my uncle’s health.
Don’t try to fix anything or escape the feeling. Just notice the emotions as they come up. Allow them to be there. Don’t make them wrong.
Then, get clear on what is in your control.
When it feels like everything is spiraling out of control, spend a few minutes getting really clear on what actually is in your control. You don’t have control over the school schedule or mother nature or your neighbor’s ranting about politics, but you DO have control over things like:
The time you spend scrolling social media
The food you put in your body
What you do before bed
When things are really chaotic, decide on a few things that make you feel better that are in your control and stick to them. You can’t control the divisiveness on social media but you can control how much you consume that content. You’re not in charge of decisions around distance learning, but you can decide what you’ll do in the 20 minutes before bed that can help you unwind.
Perhaps it sounds trite but these little things add up to a bit more stability during a time of chaos.
Stop trying to argue with reality.
One of the things that makes times of chaos especially difficult is the thought in our head that “it shouldn’t be like this.”
If you’ve followed any of Byron Katie’s work, you’ll know just how important this sort of recognition is to get ourselves out of stress. We’ve got to stop trying to argue with reality.
When your kids have to do distance learning and spend their days on Zoom, you might find yourself thinking “This is a terrible way to learn. I don’t want them to have to do school like this. Distance learning is the worst!”
Maybe distance learning is the worst. Maybe it’s not. But that IS what’s happening right now. So the question becomes, how do you feel when you think those thoughts about it? Does it make you feel better?
The challenge for you is to neutralize the thought. Instead of “Distance learning is the worst!” perhaps you can instead think “Distance learning is what’s happening right now.” Notice what happens in your body when you shift that thought to something that’s more neutral (not too negative or positive).
Commit to just two non-negotiable priorities.
If you’re finding that you have a lot less time or energy than you’d normally have but you still need to run your business, it’s time to choose two non-negotiable things that you’ll for sure do to move your business forward.
Depending on where you’re at and what you do, this could look like a whole bunch of different things, but the point here is to get laser focused on what is most important.
For example, your non-negotiable might be:
Showing up for your clients 100% and blogging twice a month
Staying on budget with projects and following up with leads weekly
Delivering projects on time and recording your podcast
It doesn’t matter what you choose but I like to think of it as one client-focused priority (to keep your clients happy), and one marketing-focused priority (to keep generating leads for the future).
Then if everything else falls away for a bit, it’s okay. You can get back to all of the things (writing the newsletter, and post to social, and create the gorgeous new PDF, and launch the webinar series, and, and, and…) later. But for now, you know where to focus your energy when there’s not much to go around.
Finally, look for the good stuff.
When we only focus on the hurt, pain, anger, and worry out there, inevitably we’ll see more of it. This is not to say the “bad stuff” goes away when we stop focusing on it. It’s simply about highlighting the “good stuff,” too.
I know personally I’ve had a lot of heartache and sadness in my life lately and if I only focused on that with everything else that’s going on in the world, I might just throw in the towel.
But when I actively start looking for the little wins, the sweet gestures, the kindness of a stranger, the funny face my dog makes when he’s catching a ball, it truly make a difference in how I go about the rest of my day. Where do you see the good stuff in the midst of chaos?
Let me know how this lands for you and what you’re doing to get through the chaos.
Be well.