Running the show can be tricky sometimes. From hard decisions to big investments to difficult conversations, being in charge of your own business means that you’re the one who has to do it all. There’s really no passing the buck on the big stuff.
For those of us who are real people-pleasers (ahem, this girl right here), it can be easy to let our accommodating tendency take over. But oftentimes that can end up resulting in bad business decisions:
“Sure, I’d be glad to give you a discount!”
…Even though you just promised yourself no more “friend deals.”
“I’m happy to meet with you on a Saturday!”
…After you decided the weekends were for your family.
“A custom order for you? No problem!”
…Didn’t you just say you hated custom orders?
The great thing about running your own business is that you get to call the shots. So here are three ways to bring some boss energy to your conversations to ensure that you call the shots that will serve you.
#1 Tap Into Your Inner Leader.
On a basic level, we have two voices competing for our attention all the time; our inner critic and our inner leader. The inner critic will give you a whole host of reasons why you can’t do the thing, why it’ll probably fail, why you’re a greedy jerk if you don’t give her a discount, and why everyone will hate you if you stop selling things the way you always have. It does an INCREDIBLY good job of ensuring we stay firmly planted in doubt, fear, and worry so that we end up not doing what we want to do (giving that discount, for example). It’s the #1 reason we stay small.
The inner leader, on the other hand, is all about wisdom, clarity, and compassion. It’s the voice that doesn’t doubt for a second that you’re capable, resourceful, and ready to do the things you want to do. It can see what it is you need, and in that steady, grounded way trusts you to follow that wisdom. It’s the voice that gives you permission to do the thing that serves you without the extra dose of anxiety. For instance, it’s the voice that’s coming through when you say “I’m unable to schedule a meeting on Saturday, but I’d be glad to set up a call for Monday morning.”
But here’s the thing; the inner critic is often waaaaay louder. Think of a toddler having a tantrum…that’s your inner critic. Meanwhile your inner leader is in the background saying calmly, “she’s fine. She just needs a nap. Now, what were you saying you wanted to do?” The key is being able to listen to that inner leader voice despite the melting down inner critic vying for your attention.
Before you go into any business conversation, whether it’s with a potential client or customer, or someone you might collaborate with, tap into the wisdom and energy of that grounded, steady voice that says “deep breath, you’ve got this.”
#2 Spell It Out.
One of the best ways you can step into your boss/leadership energy is to spell out your expectations, objectives, and policies clearly so there’s no room for doubt or confusion. While this may seem obvious, it seems that people tend to shy away from the details because they don’t want to bore people, or they assume everyone “already knows.”
For example, this might mean you send an email ahead of a meeting with bullet points about the topics or questions you’d like to address.
Or it could mean that when you get on a phone call with a potential client, after the pleasantries you might say something like, “It’s my impression that we’re here today to figure out if this would be a good working relationship for both of us. I want to honor your time and get your questions answered, so I want to be sure I understand what you’d like to get out of our time today.”
It could also simply look like getting clear on the order of things when, say, you’re working on a project for someone. For example: “First, we’ll have a meeting to be sure I understand what you’re looking for. Then, I’ll send you a proposal. If it looks good, I require a 50% deposit to get started. From there, we’ll touch base with a quick weekly call to ensure the project is on track.”
You get the idea. The bottom line is the clearer you are about your intentions and needs the easier it is for them to feel reassured and at ease.
One of the keys here is to prep for these kinds of conversations in advance. KNOW what you do and don’t do. Get clear on those boundaries and procedures, write a little script that you can practice and/or have it spelled out on your website somewhere so that you have something that reinforces the idea that “this is just how things are because see? It says so right here.”
#3 Create a Ritual.
There’s a lot to be said for putting your boss hat on, literally and figuratively. For me, that looks like dressing up with just a little more polish than I do normally. It means dabbing my wrists with some lavender essential oil to help me feel calm and grounded. It often means that I do a quick guided meditation before I work with a client who I know has been struggling so I can show up with steady energy. I’ll also clean my office and tidy things up because that helps me feel composed and confident.
The final step in putting my boss hat on is to think boss thoughts to create those boss feelings. Here are a few of my favorites:
“I show up as myself, ready to help, and then I trust the process.”
“They’d be crazy not to hire me.”
“My success is inevitable.”
“When I value my boundaries I am able to serve my clients even better.”
That combination of things usually puts me in just the right space. Internal alignment + clearly stated expectations + a ritual that reminds me “I’m ready to lead” = boss energy.
That means that I don’t get sucked into getting pushed around or saying yes when I’d rather say no. It means I can show up as a guide for clients to help them feel steady. It means I treat my business more like a business, and less like a fun (and expensive) hobby. Being the boss is an energetic shift, and one that I’d highly recommend.
How do YOU create boss energy? Let me know in the comments below.
Need help cultivating that leadership energy in your business so you can really feel like the boss? Let’s chat. Jump on one of my free Brainstorming Session calls and we’ll come up with some good ideas for you.