Think of a toddler in your life.

Got them in mind? 

Cool. Now, imagine that you know they're really, really tired. Maybe they were up a lot the night before, then spent the morning at the playground, they skipped their nap, they played with their friends, had an ice cream and now the sugar is wearing off and they're totally exhausted. Crashing hard.

But if you even mention the word "nap" they lose their mind.

"I don't want a naaaaaaaap! I'm not tiiiiiiiired! NOOOOOO!"

You know this shriek, right? 

That tired, tantrum-throwing toddler was basically me this spring, and I didn't even really realize it until I finally took a much-needed rest this summer. 

The thing is, I love seasons. I love starting and finishing a thing. I love the natural close of a cycle and the beginning of a new one. 

But for most of the pandemic, the natural cycles in my business just didn't exist (please know I'm not complaining, I know I was super lucky considering how other businesses faired). After 2+ years of just being ON in work but OFF in most of the parts of my life that bring me joy and variety and excitement, I was just totally burnt out. It was like I was living in just one season that wouldn't ever change.

I had to shake things up a bit. So starting in May I took a few trips to see family while working from the road, thinking that a change of scenery might help. 

Nope. Still drained. 

Feeling a bit desperate, in June I decided 3 things:

1. I'd pull way back on coaching and focus my energy on just a few fabulous ongoing clients. I'd deliver for them 100% but put the breaks on bringing on new clients until the end of the summer. 

2. I'd lean into photography again. This is my favorite time of year to shoot and I wanted to tap into that creative energy and see if that would shake anything up. I worried about this decision for a whole bunch of reasons (my brain is excellent at being dramatic), but I just kept getting the nudge, so I went with it. 

3. I would rest. Other than working with my ongoing coaching clients (who I've been working with for a long time) and doing a few photoshoots, I'd slow the eff down. I'd enjoy slow mornings. I wouldn't be creating content. I wouldn't be planning offers. I'd spend a lot of time at the lake. I would go to yoga. I'd travel and spend time practicing my Spanish. 

And that decision turned out to be exactly what I needed. As I look to August and September, I actually feel like a human again. I feel lighter. A bit more inspired, and eager to get back to work! 

Now, I want to be clear. This choice didn't come without some consequences, too.

I made a LOT less money this summer than I did last summer. My finances were definitely tighter than I'd like...but I also knew that to stay the course would be ugly. Sometimes we have to choose what we know is right instead of what makes sense on paper.

Like that tired, crying toddler, there was only one choice and it WASN'T to keep going. 

As one of my coaches says, "you can either exhaust yourself into surrender or you can choose it."

So, I took the proverbial (and literal) nap, and it has made all the difference.

I say all of this for a few reasons:

1. To be transparent with you. I know that I appreciate when other folks share what's really happening and what they're learning along the way.

2. To give you permission to step away, too. Being on all of the time is impossible. Americans are especially notorious for ignoring vacation time. It's simply not sustainable to think we can go for ages without a solid break (and I realize the ability to do that is dripping with privilege).

3. To ask if you've experience the same thing. The more I've talked to friends, clients, and colleagues, it's pretty apparent that I'm not alone in this experience. Where are you at? What are you noticing?

Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear about it.

Here are some highlights from my summer shoots too, just for fun: